Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Rollercoasters

I never liked rollercoasters...
The thought
Of one moment being stationery
The next you speeding off
To a dizzying height
Upside down
Then flung back up right again
Was just too sickening
They always gave me stomach cramps
And made me puke
I never liked rollercoasters....
Emotional ones too

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

You are Daddy

We were playing hide and seek
Find me - hug me
When she squeezed her cheeks
Next to mine and asked
"Daddy whats this?"
To which I replied
"Its a beard nana,
Daddy has a beard
'cause he is a boy"
She smiled
And looked at me confused
Then she chuckled
As if she had figured it out
As if I was trying
To pull a fast one on her
And said
"No, you are not a boy
You are daddy"
And with those word's
She stole my heart again....

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Maybe I will find answers.....maybe

Maybe if I write it down
It will make sense
Maybe i'll know
Maybe I wont
But I can then say
At least i tried
Because heavy breathing
And crying doesn't help anymore
The tears
Only soak the pillows
And my heart remains heavy

Maybe if I write it down
It will make sense
I dont know why we always argue
Or why screaming
Doesnt make me feel better
I dont know
What we argue about
Or what you say
When you shout
My words bounce off walls
And my heart remains heavy

Maybe if I write it down
It will make sense
Why I love so hard
What I did for love
And what it does for me
And continues to do to me
How love keeps me sane
And how it drives me to the edge of madness
How its both "the calm"
And "the storm"
My ink
Sinks only in paper
And my heart remains heavy

Thursday, June 5, 2014

The story(3am twitching)

Its 3am
And I am chasing demons, again
Chasing dragons in the smoke
Praying morning doesn't come
Give me one more hit
To keep the sun at bay
Give me one more hit
To keep the sun at bay
The darkness hides me
From reality
That keeps reaching for me
From the edge of the shadows
Just beyond the darkness...

Friday, May 9, 2014

Mending roofs

And when
They were done
Fixing the leaks to her roof
Mending them
With good memories
Hopes and dreams.....
She slept peacefully
That night,
Woke up early
And poked holes
In the roof again
She couldnt stand
The silence
The peace reminded her
Of the quiet before a storm
A heart torn
She preffered the constant rain
A pain she was prepared
To live with
At least she knew it was coming
It was no longer surprise
The random drips
Were now expected
The loud storms
Were welcomed
With open arms
Peace rejected
Because she didnt know
How long
It will last

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

They'll start caring

They'll start caring
When you hanging from the ceiling
Giving long eulogies
Pretending like they knew you
Shedding fake tears
That could have been prevented
By a single hug

They'll start caring
When you hanging from the ceiling
Because the cuts
On your wrists
They pretended not to see
Couldnt numb the pain
Anymore

They'll start caring
When you hanging from the ceiling
Because your screaming
And loud silence
Couldnt get their attention
And everything you did
Was brushed off as rebellious

They'll start caring
When you hanging from the ceiling
And even then
They wont know
That these
Are not poems
But prayers

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Find myself In You

I want to see myself
In your eyes again
Be the one
That takes your pain away
Hear my name
In each breathe you take
I want to lose myself
In you again

Thursday, April 10, 2014

The truth

And
when the lights come on
You're the one
Holding the gun
And shooting....

Monday, March 31, 2014

I see you

I see you...
And with every look
You own me
I see you
And wonder
If you see me
Like
I see you

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Where art thou

I wondered
Where my poems went
I thought they had wandered off
While I wasnt looking
Or they just ran away
Because I wasnt paying attention
Gone to that far off place
Where poems go to, to die
I searched deep within me
Hoping that some had pitied me
And stayed behind
Knowing I couldnt live
Without them
I started thinking
That those with a wandering eye
Had left me
For a better looking poet
With flawless skin
A sixpack and a larger vocabulary
Who can project his voice better
And the ladies swooned
Over his manly voice
I searched the depths
Of my soul...
As I was about to give up
And update the status of my defeat
It dawned on me
My precious poems
Never left me
I had merely reduced them
To meaningles tweets
And stupid status updates
To the point
That even I
Dont recognise them...